On Fri, 18 Feb 2000 23:12:18 GMT, firstname.lastname@example.org (Louise) wrote:
>Well at least all Scientologists aren't negligent of their families.
>A comparison of this attitude to that of the Canberra org's when I was
>about to give birth is very interesting. I wonder if John Travolta
>knows how the lower level org staff are treated and how their families
>I had an agreement with Matt Dent, the supervisor that he would work
>"foundation hours" that is roughly 8.30am -6pm Mon to Fri, and 8.30 -
>10pm on Saturdays. This was so he could spend at least some time
>helping to prepare for the birth of our child. Two weeks before the
>due date however the other supervisor Glen Stewart upped and left to
>Sydney for training. This was not discussed with me or Matt until he
>had already left. The course room was left solely in Matt's care
>8.30am -10pm EVERY day of the week. I was then told Matt would be too
>busy to attend the birth and would I consider having Carrie Wright
>come instead. I hardly knew the person, so it was an insensitive and
>offensive suggestion. I told them that if Matt did not come to the
>birth I would come in to the course room and have the baby there.
>I also pushed for Matt to have ONE day off per week and was lucky that
>on that day off, I had the baby. I came back from the birthing centre
>the next day and Matt went straight back to work. He had to be in the
>course room even when there weren't any students. It all seemed so
>badly organised and inflexible. I was feeling very depressed about it
>all, I had to do all the washing and cooking and shopping and I was
>tired - I had just given birth. I rang up Matt at the org and pleaded
>for some help. He was stressing out because as he put it he was
>between a rock and a hard place.
>It was about 9pm one evening in that first week of my child's life
>(can't remember exactly) when I got a knock at the door. I was
>asleep. I woke up and answered the door it was some guy I had never
>met before who introduced himself as Steve. He had been asked by the
>org to come over and give me a touch assist. A strange man touching
>me all over - I think not! Did they really think that I would find
>that helpful?! The lack of sensitivity in at the org was really
>pissing me off.
>When I got mastitis when the baby was only about three weeks old, I
>became deliriously febrile. I couldn't even pick up the baby, I
>*really* needed help. Matt stayed home to help me and the phone calls
>did not stop, Karen McGowan rang and rang. She put Matt under so much
>pressure and despite the fact that he had spent the previous five
>weeks working almost every waking hour at the org, made him feel bad
>about having to spend ONE day with me. I hope now she has been ill
>that she has become more compassionate.
>When the baby was five weeks old Matt was ordered to Sydney for
>essential training. It was the Pro TR's. He was going to spend the
>first six months of his son's life learning how to impart command
>intention to an ashtray.
>It was at this point I decided that I was in an extremely
>unsatisfactory situation - the father of my child would always put the
>demands of the org before the needs of his children/family. There was
>no attempt on the org managements part to work out a compromise and
>Matt was too weak to stand up for his son's rights to a father.
>Sadly, Matt is still putting the goals of the church before the needs
>of his children, his dead agenting of me last year being a prime
>example. Really, after the way I was treated by the org is it any
>wonder why I am critical of Scientology?? I have never received an
>apology for the above actions only further harassment.
I wish I could say I think your very sad story is unusual, but unfortunately I know that it is all too typical. You put it very well when you said that the father of your child would always put the demands of the organization before the needs of his children/family.
I have heard this same thing over and over and over -- someone who had been a loving father, or mother, or daughter, or son, or wife, or husband gets involved in the Church of Scientology and they literally turn on people who love them. You didn't say so specifically but I have to assume from what you did say that you and your husband are no longer together. This is so sad and I can't tell you how sorry I am that this happened to you.
But somehow this so-called "church" can exert an incredible degree of control over its members. It is a level of control that no one can believe unless they have been the victim of it. No one would ever believe that such a thing could happen, and yet it is happening with horrifying regularity in this emotional wasteland called the Church of Scientology. Caring, compassionate people can somehow be transformed into contemptuous, arrogant monsters, devoid of any feelings, love or responsibility.
I don't know if you have ever seen the video on the xenutv site called "The Wave," but if you haven't, I recommend it. It is a chilling re-enactment of a true story. A teacher in California did an experiment on his history class to see if he could create a cult that would turn on other students. He was wildly, frighteningly successful in a very short period of time.
There is another film which I'll get hold of so it can be put on the xenutv website. It is about another teacher -- I think a second grade teacher -- and this is not a re-enactment. You see the actual footage of these children turning on each other after the teacher announces that all blue-eyed children will henceforth have all the rights, and all brown-eyed children will have no rights. It is horrifying to see how quickly -- in one day -- these children turn on each other. The next day the teacher reverses it and announces that all brown-eyed children are superior and the blue-eyed children have no rights. Without hesitation the entire scenario is reversed.
Sadly, I think the abuse we all perceive in the Church of Scientology is a microcosm of a fundamental and tragic flaw in human nature. Somehow we have to find a way to get through to these people and put them back in touch with their compassion for their fellow human beings. We have to resolve this seemingly urgent need to feel superior to other people, to the point of being willing to destroy others who are deemed inferior.
I know it is possible to reverse the process. For fifteen years I was virtually out of touch with my entire family. Somehow, through the grace of God, I came to my senses and, over time, have been able to rid myself of the cult persona. I am not saying I have fully recovered because I'm not sure anyone ever can. But I can say with joy in my heart that I am reunited with my mother, who adores me and whom I adore, and who was heartbroken while I was in the Church of Scientology. I have re-established relationships with my sisters, with whom I was totally out of touch the entire time I was in the "church."
So I know it is possible to become a compassionate and caring person again. I am still working on my own damage, but at least the spell is broken. So there is hope for your husband, and there is hope for all of these people -- even the OSA people who get on this newsgroup and do everything they can to stop all of us from helping the prisoners of the Church of Scientology. I was in OSA myself. If I could escape, so can they.
Every time I read a story like the one you posted here, it renews my determination never to give up until the abuse and deception of this dangerous organization have been stopped.
I know it isn't the same coming from me, but on behalf of all the deluded adherents of the Church of Scientology who contributed to your husband's transformation so that he now views you as his enemy, I apologize. As a former Scientologist, I understand what they did to him to cause him to turn on you. I apologize for all of them. All I can say is, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
All the best to you,